The hard place

here we go again, it seems. one step forward, backwards three. confidence has dwindled now i crumble to my feet, Lord, help me to see what You have for me… in this. In the midst of it, I am grateful for so much, You hold it all together and redirect storms with a touch, Your hands protect while sculpting and molding, shaping my hands for warfare when the brunt is all I have felt at the hands of warfare, there’s more there, I know it, I suppose my comfort is shaken and I am too engaged to show it, although it is clear to see, back to the mirror, no one more clear than me, i think, as I pursue waves of the ocean, grasped for a second, but slipped away, concrete corroding, being led by emotion, tossed to and fro, which way to go, i don’t know, so I sulk and moan and groan of the floating, until i stand and feel the sand and the land below, been wallowing in the shallow wondering how I stayed afloat.

In my hardest places you see what I don’t.